Four lessons that divorce can teach children

As a parent, protecting your child is almost certainly the most important responsibility that you have when giving them the gift of life. Very often, though, there are certain things in life that you simply cannot protect them from, and one of those is divorce.

Sometimes the very first major difficulty that your children face, a divorce between you and their other parent can be very difficult for them to handle and can affect them in many different ways. In these circumstances, it can be very difficult for you to make them feel better, and that can sometimes eat away at you.

However, although it can be very easy to think about all of the damage it can do to your child; it can also teach your children some valuable lessons, of which they can take forward with them throughout their lives.

Everybody Experiences Change at Some Point in their Lives

Not many things in life are certain, but one thing that is, is change. No matter what it is, everything that you know is likely to experience some type of change, but this isn’t always a bad thing.

Children typically find change and adapting to new environments much more difficult than adults, but as time goes by and they settle into a new pattern, things do get much easier for them.

The change that divorce brings to their lives allows them to experience a drastic change to their life, helping them to prepare for change in the future and lessen the impact that future dramatic change will have on them.

If they are able to adapt from something like their parents getting a divorce and their whole life changing, they will almost certainly be able to adapt to most other things that life throws at them.

Loss and Life go Hand in Hand

Much like change, everybody experiences loss at some point in their life, and the way in which the first major loss is dealt with by a child and their support network can set a precedent for the future.

Divorce allows for children to come to terms with the fact that life won’t always stay the same, and that they will continue to see both beginnings and endings throughout their entire life.

Experiencing grief that divorce brings can help your children to look at life in a different way, and tackle future experiences much better.

When children are first made aware of the divorce of their parents, their whole world is turned upside down and they begin to question a lot of things.

But most importantly, they wonder what will happen to them and the things they are most looking forward to.

Despite this, and despite all of the grief they feel, it provides them with an opportunity to experience the fact that life does go on after loss, and this will once again help them in their later lives.

Some things are Out of your Control

One thing that children, especially of a younger age, struggle to deal with is the fact that they may not be able to have something that they really want.

They are unable to understand the reasoning behind not getting something despite wanting it so badly, and this is often down to not being able to control certain things.

This works much in the same way as the thought process a child has following the divorce of their parents, as they may be feeling that they want their old life back.

Despite being difficult to comprehend, it teaches children a very valuable lesson in not being able to control everything that happens in their lives, and realising that desire isn’t everything, of which they realise when wishing that their parents would get back together again.

Parents aren’t Superhuman, but their Love is Out of this World

It is inevitable that children idolise their parents when they are young, and may even believe that they are superhuman with unimaginable powers.

Divorce tells them that this isn’t the case, and although they probably do still idolise their parents, children become aware that they are just human and that they don’t know everything there is to know.

Divorce can become a scary indicator that not everything in life is perfect and that parents don’t always have everything figured out.

It also shows them a snippet of real-life situations and can provide them with a look into the normality of growing up.

Although this is the case, there is one lesson that children can truly benefit from. Despite everything that happens; all the pain, all the difficulty and the change to their lives, children very quickly become aware that their parents love them beyond belief.

Divorce is certainly not something that anybody would recommend if there is a way to fix the relationship, but one thing that parents can be safe in the knowledge of is that divorce teaches children that they will always be loved.

If you require assistance with any aspect of family law then the team at K J Smith Solicitors can help.

For more information or to arrange a free 45 minute consultation, please contact us today on Please contact our team today on 01491 630000 (Henley on Thames), 0118 418 1000 (Reading Head Office), 0118 418 1200 (Reading Central), 01256 584000 (Basingstoke), 01483 370100 (Guildford), 01494 629000 (Beaconsfield), 01235 375500 (Abingdon), 01344 513000 (Ascot), 01635 785 100 (Newbury), 01962 587900 (Winchester), 0204 599 7400 (Richmond) or email info@kjsmith.co.uk.

We also serve a wide range of other areas including Abingdon, Bracknell, Gerrards Cross, Maidenhead, Marlow, Oxford, Slough, Wokingham, Pangbourne, and High Wycombe.