Supporting children through separation: A partnership in family wellbeing

K J Smith Solicitors is proud to provide clients with an ecosystem of care and support. Storm Copestake from Bright Minds is one of the key experts we collaborate with in our unwavering commitment to be there for the clients we represent.

In this guest piece, Storm has shared key insights on the impact of divorce on children and how child life coaching can help them navigate the new family dynamic with confidence and support.

When families change: The child's perspective

Imagine this scenario, seven-year-old Emma sits quietly at the kitchen table, colouring with less enthusiasm than usual. She's overheard hushed arguments and noticed her parents no longer share the same bedroom.

Though no one has told her directly, she senses something significant is changing. Her schoolwork is slipping, and her teacher reports she's becoming withdrawn.

Meanwhile, twelve-year-old Jacob has become increasingly angry since his parents announced their separation. He slams doors, refuses to visit his father's new apartment, and recently told his mother, "This is all your fault." His parents are so consumed by legal proceedings and their own emotional turmoil that they're struggling to help him process his feelings.

These scenarios often play out in countless homes when families separate. As parents, you're navigating your own complex emotions while simultaneously trying to protect your children from pain. It's an overwhelming balancing act that no parenting book fully prepares you for.

Breaking the silence: The impact of divorce on children

Let's address what many consider taboo. Divorce and separation significantly impact children, regardless of how amicably parents handle the process. Children experience grief, confusion, anxiety, anger, and often a profound sense of loss of security. Many blame themselves or fantasise about reunion long after parents have moved on.

Research shows that how children adjust to family changes depends largely on how their emotional needs are addressed during this transition. Yet parents often find themselves emotionally depleted and uncertain how to help their children while managing their own stress and the complexities of legal proceedings.

This isn't a reflection of your parenting abilities. It's simply the reality of one of life's most challenging transitions.

This is where child life coaching creates a crucial bridge. While your legal team focuses on practical arrangements and protecting your parental rights, our workshops or individual child life coaching creates a safe space exclusively for your child's emotional wellbeing.

Child life coaching provides:

• A neutral, non-judgmental space where children can express their true feelings without worrying about hurting either parent
• Age-appropriate tools for understanding and managing powerful emotions
• Consistent support during a time when everything feels unpredictable
• Practical coping strategies for new family dynamics
• Communication skills to help children express their needs to both parents

Unlike traditional therapy, which can sometimes feel clinical or problem-focused, child life coaching emphasises resilience, emotional intelligence, and practical skills that empower children through change.

The seamless partnership: Legal support and emotional wellbeing

When legal services and child life coaching work in tandem, families experience a more holistic approach to separation. While your legal team handles the necessary procedural aspects, as your child's coach I ensure emotional needs aren't overlooked during critical decision-making.

This partnership benefits everyone

For children: Their voices are heard, their emotions validated, and their coping skills strengthened precisely when they need these supports most.

For parents: You gain insights into your child's experience and practical guidance for supporting them emotionally, reducing parent-child conflict during an already stressful time.

Reaching out for support isn't admitting failure. By considering both the legal and emotional aspects of your family transition, you're demonstrating commitment to your child's complete wellbeing during challenging times.

The journey through separation is never easy, but you don't have to navigate it alone. A partnership between legal guidance and child-centered emotional support creates a foundation for family resilience, even as your family structure changes.

Your children need protection of their practical interests and nurturing of their emotional health. Together, we create that comprehensive support system that honours every aspect of your child's wellbeing during this significant life transition.

Remember, how children experience family separation often has less to do with the fact of separation itself and more to do with how supported they feel throughout the process. You have the power to make that difference.

We at K J Smith take the time to understand all aspects of your situation and tailor our advice to achieve the best possible outcome for both you and your children. You and your well-being are at the forefront of the decisions we make and the advice we provide you with. We understand how difficult this transition can be and want to provide the utmost support and guidance.

At K J Smith we take pride in the free family workshops we offer with Storm Copestake.

If you are interested in finding out more about the upcoming workshops and the benefits of your children attending, please reach out to Eva Artemis (eva.artemis@kjsmith.co.uk)