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Published: 12th March 2025
“At first, living alone was incredibly tough. I had to manage bills on my own and I didn’t have family close by for support. Once I adjusted, I found these small victories empowering. I’ve actually come to enjoy my independence.”
Elaine is one of a growing number of over 50s who are getting divorced.
While it may be the last thing you expect to be doing at this stage of life, the so-called 'grey divorce' has become increasingly common.
In fact, according to Legal and General, more than 20% of all divorces now involve couples over the age of 50 – the latest figures from 2025 suggest it could be as many as 1 in 3 divorces.
Divorce or dissolution at any age is life-changing, but when it happens later on in life, it comes with unique considerations.
In this article, Elaine, Andrew and Clare* kindly share their personal insights into later life divorce, shedding light on what life can look like beyond separation. Their experiences highlight the importance of taking a long-term view and seeking the right emotional, legal and financial support.
Whether it’s the result of growing apart, the adjustment to retirement, or long-standing issues finally coming to a head, many people find themselves making the difficult choice to separate in their 50s, 60s, or beyond.
Changing views and attitudes to relationships, increased life expectancy and the recognition that people do not have to remain in an unsatisfying marriage for the rest of their lives may all play a factor.
Research by Legal & General in 2024 found:
Whatever the timeline or reasons for your decision, understanding the financial, emotional and practical realities will help you move forward with clarity and confidence.
For Clare (51), divorce was inevitable after her husband left her unexpectedly; “It was never in my plan to divorce and, at the time, it felt like my life had been turned upside down.”
For Andrew (60) and his wife, their decision was mutual. When their children left home and after a period of reflection, they found they had grown apart.
Over time, some couples simply realise they no longer share the same vision and goals. Others can also find that retirement disrupts their routine and sense of purpose, leading to a loss of identity which can cause friction.
While divorce at any age comes with emotional challenges, more mature couples can be better equipped to navigate separation amicably.
If you have children, they may also be older and this can reduce some of the pressures that parents of younger children face. You may also come to appreciate that – despite no longer being romantically involved – you have shared a significant portion of your lives together and may wish to maintain a friendship.
Mature couples may well feel able to negotiate terms face-to-face or with the help of a third-party, using conciliatory methods such as Mediation.
Clare and her ex-husband were able to reach a financial agreement without excessive legal fees by negotiating directly with one another. Even if your relationship is amicable, it’s still important to take independent legal advice to ensure your financial interests are arranged fairly before they are made legally binding through a Consent Order.
Elaine (56) made the difficult decision to end her marriage after years of challenges, driven by her husband's alcoholism and his controlling approach to their finances.
Financial control and economic abuse can make ending a relationship very challenging.
One partner may be ‘in charge’ of all the finances, which can leave the other without independent means. There is help out there and the following organisations offer specialist financial advice:
Elaine’s experience shows that it is possible to regain control and build a secure future. With the right support and advice, financial independence and a fresh start are within reach.
Divorcing when you are older presents separating couples with particular considerations when it comes to financial security.
Firstly, unlike younger divorcees, when you are in middle age or beyond, you have less time to rebuild your finances after your assets have been shared.
You‘re also more likely to have accumulated assets such as property, pensions and savings, but in retirement (or with it on the horizon), you have limited opportunity to increase your earnings or recover from financial setbacks.
This makes achieving a fair and sustainable financial settlement crucial. It's vitally important that you’re aware of the financial considerations you need to know when getting divorced and so taking specialist legal advice at an early stage is key.
Andrew explained, “My ex-wife and I had planned to live near our children so we could be more involved with our grandchildren. When we divided our assets, that dream became unaffordable.”
Andrew initially resented downsizing but, over time, he saw the benefits.
“At first, moving to a smaller home felt like a loss. But now, I appreciate the lower costs and minimal upkeep. I have more time and freedom to travel and socialise.”
A family law solicitor will help you see the bigger picture when it comes to your finances. They’ll take the time to understand your retirement plans and may refer you to a Pensions on Divorce Expert (PODE) or an actuary who can assess the true value of your pensions in relation to other marital assets.
This is important because pensions can be one the most valuable assets in your marriage.
This is one lesson Andrew learned the hard way.
“We thought we had a fair settlement, but we hadn’t properly accounted for the value of our pensions. This created some upset and delayed our divorce, costing us time and money. I wish we’d sought advice at an earlier stage.”
Divorce can also be particularly difficult for older women if they have spent much of their adult lives raising a family and managing the home, rather than building financial resilience outside of their marriage.
According to Legal & General and Opinium’s 2024 research, 25% of women face financial struggles post-divorce, compared to just 15% of men.
Your family law solicitor will help you to ensure you achieve a financial settlement that is sustainable in the long-term. MoneyHelper also provides useful advice on rebuilding your financial future after divorce or dissolution.
Managing the emotional side of divorce is just as important as handling the legal and financial aspects.
Some people, like Clare, find their new life post-divorce liberating: “Despite the initial emotional toll, I’ve since gained new independence and travelled to places I’d never have visited otherwise, making fantastic memories with wonderful friends.”
For others, it can take time to adjust to facing life alone for the first time in a number of years.
Seeking emotional support is a must – it can come in many forms and will make the transition easier. You can:
Clare’s advice? “Surround yourself with good friends and remember – no matter how long it takes – there is light at the end of the tunnel.”
For further insights, read our article that explains helpful coping strategies for the emotional side of separation.
While divorce at any age comes with emotional challenges, more mature couples are often better equipped to navigate separation amicably.
If you have children, they may also be older and this can reduce some of the pressures that parents of younger children face.
You may also come to appreciate that, despite no longer being romantically involved, you have shared a significant portion of your lives together and may wish to maintain a friendship.
Mature couples may well feel able to negotiate terms face-to-face or with the help of a third-party, using conciliatory methods such as Mediation.
Even if your relationship is amicable, it’s important to take independent legal advice to ensure your financial interests are arranged fairly before they are made legally binding through a Consent Order.
In some cases, you may have been in an unhealthy or abusive marriage for years.
With greater confidence and external support, you may finally feel able to extract yourself from a relationship that has been controlling or damaging.
There is no doubt that the emotional toll of escaping an abusive relationship is profound and complex, but there are excellent support organisations that offer emotional and practical help:
Financial and economic abuse can make leaving even more challenging. Your partner may have controlled the finances, leaving you without independent means. The following organisations offer specialist financial advice:
If you’re considering separation in later life, do your research and find out what you need to know before you start the divorce process. This will ensure that, no matter what your position, you are properly informed from the outset. Your solicitor will help you to identify and engage with additional experts if needed.
For some people, like Andrew, divorce can initially feel like a wrench – with unexpected upheaval that brings uncertainty and loss. For others, like Elaine, it will be a relief, an opportunity to start afresh after years of unhappiness. Many over-50s find they don't rush into new relationships, instead taking the time to rediscover who they are and what makes them truly happy.
Clare’s unexpected divorce led to newfound independence which has become a source of empowerment. Many others like her are finally able to focus on their own needs and desires after decades of prioritising a partner or children.
If you’re considering divorce but haven’t yet taken action, we can guide you through the process at your own pace.
At K J Smith Solicitors, we will help you to understand what your financial outcomes could look like and how to plan for your future. We offer a free 45-minute consultation to discuss your options – no matter where you are in your decision-making process. Contact us today to take the first step towards your secure and happy future.
*Names changed to protect identities.
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